Tuesday, May 15, 2012

FREEDOM!!!

Fast Healer

Got to say right off the bat how much I love The Cole Clinic (Dr. Hanssen and Samantha)!

Most people are in their cast for a minimum of 7 weeks, but I convinced my doc to let me switch from the cast straight to the boot (after just 3 or 4 weeks? in a cast) without putting my foot into neutral first WHOOOOOO!  (Last visit, he said I was to be put in another cast and my foot would gradually be moved to the neutral position.  F*ck that!)

Saved me $300 bucks and the hell of having another cast on!  I told him how I couldn't resist and for about 2 weeks now I've been jamming this unsanitary back scratcher (the sharp handle part, where something broke off of it) into my cast, which is why all the padding was gone.  When he was using the cast saw to cut off my cast it grazed against my skin and it hurt so I moved away.  He said I was acting "like a little girl," then when he took it off he saw why...the padding was gone becauseI had pushed it away unintentionally while scratching at it.  So the saw was basically cutting into my skin rather than the padding.

When it came off I thought it looked disgusting with all the red bumps.  I asked if that rash was normal and he said it was because I was "sticking random objects in there" LOL.

Now that it's off though, it feels weird.  All numb and tingling.  I felt my achilles tendon and it's like a hard knot of ropes tangled up.  Really strange...


Check Out This Disgusting Rash:


(::Dry heaves::)


He made a crack about how my dad should tell others that "I'm adopted."  Whatever.  I got him back.  I told him now that he's back in TX he's going to get FAT in 2 weeks, guaranteed!  (He lost 25 lbs in Italy because he did so much walking.)

Oh the best part?  Samantha went to talk to the doc right as he was leaving the room and she got me a deal!  They usually charge $600 for the boot, even though they purchase it themselves for $50!  Well, Samantha got it so that I would only have to pay $50 for the boot!  Amazing!

DA BOOT!

(I wanted to write "DAS BOOT," like the iconic movie, but unfortunately that means "the boat" in Deutsche...sigh...Germany lets humanity down AGAIN.  #GermanFAIL ;-P)


(Do people really pay $600 for this?!)


The doctor's fee was still around $85 or so, but seriously — not bad!

(Then again, all he did was cut off my cast peel off one of the bandages to take a look and then left me to do the dirty work.  Oh yeah and he insulted me and complimented himself on a job well done. LOL must be nice to be an orthopedic surgeon, especially with the mark-up for boots from $50 to $600 haha.  Seriously though, I love these guys.  I can't take being around people who don't have a sense or humor.)

I gave Sam a big bear hug and said she's like my "God mom."  She said she's been "taking care of me for so many weeks" that she might as well be!  The doc overheard and felt left out I guess and said, "What am I? Just your fat skinny doctor?"  I didn't even get what he was saying at first...it's because I told him he lost a lot of weight on his trip.  He said, "In a few more weeks, I'm going to look just like Brad Pitt" while rubbing his sides.  I told him he's going to be fat, but you already heard that part.

So I went home to scratch and then clean up my leg with tons of witch hazel and rubbing alcohol!  Oh God, it felt damnnn gooood.


Before Cleaning-Up (Warning, Not For Those With Sensitive Stomachs):


After A Thorough Wipe-down (Up Close & Personal):


Super Macro setting on the digital camera.  The wound looks SO MUCH better than before (look at the image above and then look below).  All that dead skin has been wiped off, more or less (hence the different skin tone, plus lighting).  That black gunk is congealed, old blood.


All Clean & Bandaged Up!

I cleaned up the wound and put the bandages on myself!  (Why did I pay the doc again?)


Check out that beautiful, meticulous work of mine.


2 Months' Atrophy!

Here you can see how much my right calf has atrophied in just shy of 2 months!  Terrible, just terrible...


Can you see the difference?  Can you spot which leg has atrophied?  It's easy for me.  Here's a clue:  the injured one has a rash on it and has bandages...


T-Nasty Came Bearing Gifts! (Pork Rinds & Cute Minors!)


I decided to be nice and not leave you with a bunch of disgusting crusty, hairy, bloody feet pics 'cuz I know not everyone is into that scheiße...

So for you pedophiles and gluttons out there (just kidding!)... T-nasty was in the neighborhood and came bringing heart-clogging fried pig fat and a talkative 4-year old by the name of Weston!  Mis padres got a kick out of Weston 'cuz he kept asking a lot of questions and was really assertive, which is why I call him "little man."


W Is Easily Amused

I swear that's not a sex toy.  It's for pumping air into balloons or sumpin'.


Fried Pork Fat (Chicarrones):  Snack of Champions!


Believe it or not, I have NEVER tried pork rinds before!  This will be quite a culinary and cultural experience for me, I'm sure.  I'll blog about it afterwards LOL.



For inquiring minds:  the shirt reads, I MOUSTACHE YOU A QUESTION.


Time To Get Ya Learn On, Yo!

I came across this article the other day and thought, wow what a coincidence!

The Achilles tendon is the thickest tendon in the body, a cord that attaches the calf muscles to the heel bone (calcaneus), dictating every interaction with the ground. Over the past few years, we have seen some of the greatest athletes suffer tears in this region, a very painful rupture that generally requires surgery and months of sport absence.

Read the full article at the blog, Sparta Point.

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